i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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