No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
