You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Still dying that you shit outside
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
