Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
