He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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