do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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