Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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