She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
