Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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