What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
