we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
