I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
