You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
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