great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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