By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
sick fucks of a feather flock together
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
