if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
