The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Randomize
