What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
