how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
