puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
