these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
