I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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