I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
