would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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