as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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