I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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