my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
