I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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