So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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