i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
