the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize