u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
