you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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