Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
