Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
