I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
