About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
