before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
