As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
