what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
