Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
