he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
