weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
