I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
