my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
