Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
