oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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