your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize