This is not my ceiling
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Operation Purity has been aborted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
