so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
