No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
