awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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