Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
