Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
