So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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