She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
