I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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