Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
