In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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